Then, you’ll want to start some transformational healing activities such as guided meditations. I know this all sounds crazy, but it made sense at the time. Lets begin from a stance that you are happy to be pregnant but not happy with who the father is. I know it’s not as common in women, but they do exist. We work in the same office and even though I hold it together well, I just want to fall apart. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . That’s just a whole other door of pain I’m not ready to walk thru yet… And Kim your post are so on point its crazy. Things progressed very quickly. But if you need to speak to someone then please get in touch. Does he do this often? Having a child with a MN/Narcissist means one thing to the MN/Narcissist. The happiness felt is severely tainted by the fact that you know this MN/Narcissist will now be in your life forever. me talk he would be talking to multiple women but once we made it official I thought it was over. Should they make it into power, then they will be surrounded by those who make it their mission to have power over others. hospital expenses for kids are zero in the country i live in, then what else could have been the reason other than financial, for me to not let my child admit in hospital when he was suffering from pneumonia? I feel like a lot of things suddenly make sense now. Should you decide to stay you will be faced with a lifetime of harm minimisation within your child and yourself. She had msgd me on fb. When I left him behind, he was the one looking like a loser and a victim. But, we aren’t speaking about people with quirks, or people who can be a little bit selfish or self absorbed…we aren’t speaking about people who are thoughtless. Whenever a narcissist feels ignored the first thing he thinks to plan is revenge. Since then he has gone Mia. My boyfriend, really my (supposed) fiancé, made me uproot and move to him only to leave me three weeks later. Then, one day you will realize you’re no longer defined by what happened to you and you’ll have no feelings left for him…. Very early into my relationship with my ex narcissist I fell pregnant. JUST IN CASE? You have helped me already more than you can ever know..Suzanne, Im glad to hear that you are not letting your inner strength be corrupted…and am glad I have been able to support you through your journey , Thank you so much…you truly have been opening my eyes..like onion peels in layers ! Believe that!!! Pray to God, ask him to help you forgive him. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me, that I was losing my mind. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? Youâve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling menâand change your life. We respect your privacy. Oct 2013, he left again. My sister hated him, she didnt want me to marry him. End of. He was a good boyfriend for the most part. It doesn’t work for most of us. A few weeks later he wanted to see me. This guy has been horrible…it’s been a total roller coaster ride…what is wrong with me? Sing a karaoke with friends, go for a bike ride, take your kids to restaurant or Picnic and read comedy books, travel short to another city, clean the whole house, go to spa alone or with friends and ponder things over. For this reason, he was and still am unsure of what I am capable of. Good luck and enjoy it here – you are safe to say and do whatever you please here to explore you. Boyfriend left me at 6 months pregnant. And if that’s not his game, your son will simply be ignored. At first I felt disbelief, then anger and finally, I acted on all those feelings that had spread like a cancer inside me turning me into a weak shadow of a woman. You did the best thing you could do for yourself! I read on one site that when they discard you its like a swot of the fly off a face. It goes on and on. I have to see him every single day. So here I am still married to him with a baby that’s due in 5 days with 3 other kids by him. It’s been 3 weeks…I haven’t heard from him. I don’t have any answers for this one. You are so interesting! I texted him and contacted every chance I could. Reaching, it takes a while to recover from this type of relationship. I GOT A JOB AT A LOCAL RETAILER AND STARTED TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MY LIFE…HE WOULD POP OVER PERIODICALLY OVER THAT 3 MONTH TIME PERIOD, BUT I KEPT SENDING HIM AWAY- FINALLY IN THE FALL I GAVE IN AND WE WENT OUT…WE WOULD THEN GET TOGETHER BIT BY BIT AND I THOUGHT WE WERE WORKING ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER…WELL, MONTHS LATER, ON VALENTINES DAY, HE TEXTED ME THAT HE WAS GOING OUT OF TOWN AND WHEN I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE I FOUND ANOTHER WOMAN’SL NEGLIGE…I FLIPPED OUT…WORKED THAT ONE OUT AFTER I BEGGED AND BEGGED HIM TO GIVE ME A CHANCE…I BASICALLY LET HIM WALK ALL OVER ME FOR MONTHS, THEN FOUND OUT HE HAD MET HER FOR DINNER…I SAID IM DONE HERE….HE BEGGED ME AND PROMISED THAT IF I GAVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE LIFE WITH HIM WOULD BE GREAT-. The child can also be used… HO HO HO. another instance when she was eating in restaurant and son again was doing child acts and playing behind her back, she all of a sudden pushed him and unless i had holded him he would have fallen off the chair. We let things cool off between us, scaled back to friends, though we did end up making out the last time I saw him. I stayed for two months to settle my affairs and make sure it was what he truly wanted, and had to rent out the house we bought together there. I dont miss him. I feel completely broken… It’s been two weeks since a we ended our relationship. It almost NEVER works.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-queenbeeing_com-box-3-0')}; Take a look at this video – or if you can’t, check out the transcript, below the video, and when you’re finished, please let me know what you think – and what advice you’d offer these moms. The first reason a narcissist is dangerous to others is because they are in complete denial of reality. Wishing you all the best. A woman with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has explained how the condition led her to cheat on former partners multiple times.. Kanika Batra, 25, from Sydney, Australia, says she has become reliant on external validation and praise from other people because she "doesn't know how to produce internal validation".. Batra, a model and social media influencer with more than 180,000 . So we reconnected now at 52 years old, everything was going fine until i didn’t let her treat me anyway and when i didnt she would block me from all contact even social media,she always wanted to go out on my expenses and never wanted to treat, so now she text me and said i am cheap and dont like the way i talk to her, i treat her great, she a friend that think i should look at her as my woman,so she blocked me on everything include her cell number, what should i do..sorry for long writing. Also, why donu suppose he hasn’t filed yet? I know this from personal experience, my research, and from other people I work with. I was left contemplating taking my own life the pain excruciating as I begged and pleading on the floor (yes you heard right ) to chose me and our family . August 21, 2016 by joannamoore. So much of what you wrote sounds familiar to me on more than one level. Before I searched this subject I’d already chose to give my baby for adoption. Be strong, my fellow narc lovers. ( Log Out / People who haven’t been in this type of relationship cannot sympathize with you, although they may try. A heavy hearted thank you. Found insidewhich made me believe that he was a victim of infidelity. Here's his version of the ... He got Tina pregnant by accident so he agreed to marry her because he did not want to humiliate Tina and her clan. Tina has a huge clan in their ... The Final Discard. Sounds like you gave him a taste of his own medicine. I found out that he was cheating and lying throughout our whole relationship and somehow he has still managed to make the break up my fault, through something minuscule that I didn’t even do. It’s really a boost when I get these awesome comments. Transcript:Before I start with my answer, I just want to say that I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and you definitely don’t deserve it! © Kim Saeed and Meeks Fire Media, LLC 2013-2021. He couldn’t hold down a job, wasn’t enrolled in school like I was, military would’t re-admit him, just a lot of funky stuff that I couldn’t understand why a young man in his early twenties would be struggling with. I just want to move on but it’s so hard. Change ). No contact, and blocking everything, and not even having the urge to contact him is a liberating feeling. I don’t want to see him nor do I not want him to be here if I’m not here. We won’t send you spam. Noted psychologist Seth Meyers, PsyD--aka Dr. Seth--has developed a foolproof four-step cure for Relationship Repetition Syndrome (RRS). With this book, you can avoid making the same mistakes in your love life over and over again. Because a woman was that admirably honest with herself that she couldnt care for the child as much as that child needed.  To them, we are nothing more than a resourceâ¦a tissue, a cup of coffee, a sitcom on television. I have a great habit now of saying Im sorry for everything, it started with him, and i noticed i was saying it all the time. It has been 27 days. He was not happy when he got back. Sorry to hear all the things you went through. He will never change and you deserve better…, Thank you Kim for helping me realize I wasn’t alone or crazy. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and don't want to lose him. Be proud that you have moved on and don’t allow this history to define, who you are. His anger was so explosive my health declined. In my case, this was oh so true. My husband is a narcissist and a lawyer. He took me to amazing restaurants, I met his close family members (not that that matters) but I felt he was serious. For example; it took me until about 4/5 years ago to have a community psychiatric nurse who was a good person in HA. We got married at his insistance, I didnt understand why he and his mom were planning a shot gun wedding, minus the pregnancy. Narcissists often see people, even those whom they profess to love, as interchangeable. This is because I am still trying to overcome my own fathers abandonment of me – and until I deal with this properly, older male MN/Narcissists will be a weak spot in my radar…I had two such over the past two weeks. New one kicked him to the curb and hes with his daughter. I have been reading your blog for a while now. I appealed to my brother when I saw the signs, I tried to build him up and his confidence and self belief but it made no difference – sometimes these creatures (to the character disordered) have too shiny a exterior to not be drawn in by…chasing of the golden fleece, I suppose. 5 years later and you leave my while pregnant. It was complicated as I was the other woman, and even now I have no clue how I got involved. Plus, since image is so important to narcissists, he may demand absolute perfection from your child anytime he’s involved. …he said “it was punishment enough to never let him be a deputy or cop again, as thats what he went to school for! "She told me I was useless, pathetic, that she hated me and she would call the police if I came near her again. I’m a male and I was with a narcissistic female partner for over 4 years now. I don’t care what happens to him from here. Work on your recovery, perhaps with guided meditations and aromatherapy. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Letter to my ex who left me pregnant. She said she was sorry, she had thought he was divorced, and said I was a beautiful girl, and seemed smart. Just a sitting duck, poised and waiting for his eminent return. Please try again. I thank YOU for stopping by, LD! He never paid any bills. He came back, and we could not talk about why he had left. I am sure she will leave for whatever reason one day, and I will have to play tag again and figure out who I can rely on to follow their good work in clearing my name. When narcissists meet this "new soulmate," their hopes are very high that this new person is "The One." This is the person who will be the perfect accessory, the perfect glue to hold the narcissist together, the perfect soft place to fall, the perfect servant, the perfect reflection of how wonderful the narcissist is, the perfect fit for the narcissist's yawning . This is why I say build up relationships (with peers and HA’s) slowly…your radar is off and your scars are still raw. What I saw as his bullying/controling/domineering/abusive behaviour left me on the brink of suicide several times. That was ME who you were describing – I went through the EXACT same things as you – I’m sorry you went through that but how happy you must be to be away from all of the toxicity. I dont call, text, email nothing!!! The pregnancy pulled you back from the brink. Until my last dying breathe, I will use every ounce of energy, strength, love, smarts as well as every piece of survival instinct (which I became a master in considering) to ensure that if they ever come near my kids I will make their life very, very, very difficult. He decided to fall into that pain and become it. Everytime I leave he talks to me 3-4 days then pretends I'm annoying and breaks up, that's when he 'exchanges' me and I know he has another girl there who feeds his needs. 1. He said he could not consider me while he was in a new relationship, because he wants to be “honest.”. and his first response was to blame me. The best thing you can do is maintain No Contact and if you haven’t already, make an appointment with a counselor. Us kids were given free reign while this adult party was happening. He told you to find another man, you go do that. He, HO HO HO, is homeless. Now, I realize I’d given up my claim on him, but still, this seemed like a heartless way to handle things. My friends can’t understand the emotional crap I’m going through. However, if this guy is a Narcissist, it may be more difficult detaching yourself from him and from the feelings you’re having. Will it be just when I have completely forgotten all about him? I should have seen the writing on the wall with the way he would brag about how he got out of past relationships, his marriage with his calculated, sucker-punch method that he did to his wife. I have been reflective, I dont want to date obviously. Never. Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to handle this and what to do in my situation? He will never have a good life. Yet contacted my best friend why you’ve moved on ?? Aimee Song is going to be one stylish mom! 2. But when she got it she started screaming at me. You have to approach it from different angles, which is why I promote guided meditations, essential oils, and energy healing such as Reiki massage, harp healing, and other alternative methods. We are speaking about people who make it their life goal (because that is their truth path) to taking all the good from people, warping it, corrupting it, twisting it and then laughing in the face of the victim when it is one of their children who fail victim to it. His wife works for the same company, as a prison guard, the same as him, although not based in the same court. If your relationship has reached the point where heâs left you, the best thing you can do for yourself is put up the barricades and go into full lock-down mode. Think of yourself as G.I. If you have the chance, check out my articles on “No Contact” and heed the advice. You all know the drill!! Your Ex is trying to bait you to see if he still has a hold on you. Now tmw is my first “mothers day” as a grandmother to her now 6 month old daughter, Olivia! I felt like I wasnt attractive to him anymore, i would beg, plead, ask why he was ignoring me. Then nothing for five days. Every session with my theripist unfolds like a book . I asked him who it was, how he could do this to me. Until Higher Authorities view things from a place of empathy rather than a place of automaton reason then, to some extent, your fate is in their hands. Trap Red Flag #1. I don’t know what to do because I’ve just moved citys away from my social network, and my family never knew anything of him. Pity the person (and hope it is an object such as career rather than a person) but also see that opportunity for what it is – a get out. Which makes me think he's scared or getting cold feet. Choose the one person who has been most supportive and stick with them. Can’t help but think he took a trip with the wife. We are going through a divorce that I filled for as he doesn't care he left me and our 3 boys. Haven’t eat or sleep, him with her it’s all I can think about. "He told me he never wanted to see me again so long as he was alive. He wouldn’t leave me alone. And you may feel like you’ve tried everything already. What happens if you leave a narcissist when you're pregnant as you've realised that his behaviour is dangerous for you and the baby? He hasn’t contacted me since and its the longest we’ve not been in contact since knowing him (though only four days). Get immediate access to this FREE recovery series to receive: Yes! So due to the fact that I choose to not believe her or trust her because of the many lies she told me in the past, she punishes me and uses the baby and the pregnancy as a tool and weapon and refuses to let me go to any doctors appointments and expects me to be okay with that and to accept the fact that the baby is mine. Monkey Branching: Why Narcissists Are Always in New Relationships, Why You Shouldn’t Take Narcissistic Rage Personally, The Top 9 Things Narcissists Say and What They Actually Mean, 10 Lies Narcissists Want to Program Into Your Mind, Do Narcissists Have Low Self-Esteem? He left me and our 3 young kids again a month ago when he came into some money (despite the fact I was having a miscarriage) and disappeared to family down the country to show off doing his Mr wonderful routine . ( Log Out / But always came back to me. Presenting a new paradigm of modern leadership, the author of The Gamesman rejects the negative stereotype of the self-centered egotist to argue that today's most innovative leaders are productive narcissists with strategic intelligence ... I asked if something was wrong. I know the obvious mistake was that he was married but I wish you could have heard his convincing bullshit words. That’s why it often takes us so long to react. So I asked him to not text me or call outside of work, which he promised to do. Whilst the ignition of fury can potentially result in any school of narcissist entering a frenzy whereby there is the commission of physical violence, it is the Lesser who is most likely to murder as a consequence of the loss of control. I deserve so much better. I was jailed for a week but later released with no charges due to my injuries and her lack of injuries. Be strong….its in you. And his cruelty emotionally has astounded me. Thank you so much for this site. Talk to a therapist, or your Dr, see if you can get an anti depressant, or tools to help you cope. He refused to answer my calls, or texts. My wife‘s family which includes doctors her brother, father themselves, an engineer brother, who all have seen her abusive behavior by their own eyes and promised me to take strong action, have started me ignore and normal relationship/communication with her. He didn’t. Here are five signs you may be dating or involved in a relationship with a cheating narcissist. He would get very annoyed with me if I could not meet him when he wanted. great advice. I never called or texted him, also bc i was sooo used to him never calling or texting me during our fake relationship that that part was easy for me. Oh My Gosh!, I am amazed eacht ime I read, re-read, (due to an MTBI s/p a MVA in ’02, i must re-read something at least 4 times in order to comprehend it.) He is in prison and now felt the need to cut me off like a piece of trash. Narcissistic people simply believe the children are an extension of themselves, a playmate, someone they can either gain admiration from, either from the child or by playing the good parent role in front of others to gain admiration from others. Look for consistancy in their behaviours, once you have found one trusted HA, ask them for recommendations. AT THIS TIME, HE WAS MARRIED, AND TOLD ME HIS WIFE HAD TAKEN HIS KIDS AND LEFT THE COUNTRY AND WERE IN THE PROCESS OF A DIVORCE…SO WHEN SHE CAME BACK TO TOWN A YEAR LATER AND CALLED ME ASKING IF I KNEW HE WAS MARRIED, I WAS SHOCKED. Nevermind the strange kind of people (Narcissistic people) the general masses hold in high regard as role models – you are truly someone to be respected and a true role model to those who seek strength in following their truth path. This is all so horrible. No amount of pushing or cajoling is going to help me get back my boyfriend who left me for someone else. Just as girls need to be adored by their fathers in order to be validated, boys need to have their dads believe in them. They always come back, but let them have a taste of their own medicine by ignoring them or wait for the next that might just have the balls to do the same to them. Preparing to leave my narcissistic boyfriend. Try not to talk about your situation with your friends. He was already strung out on meth to boot. Really.. thank you for starting this up.
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