can you grow to love someone you are not attracted to

“She was okay for a brunette, but I always liked blondes better.”, “I didn’t really find him attractive, but I thought I could with time.”, “He really seemed to love me, and I fall easily for guys who pursue me.”, “I didn’t date much, and she was the first girl who showed interest in me.”, “I used to be attracted to her, but she stopped taking care of herself.”, “I was attracted to him, but his drinking eventually turned me off.”, “I was attracted to him, but since he cheated on me I get nauseous when he's near.”, “Our sex life was inconsistent in the beginning.”, “I never thought a good sex life was that important.”, “I knew he’d be a good provider, and I thought that was enough.”, “He never initiated sex. The magnetic pull is so strong that it makes you uncomfortable unless you manage to be with that person.

Almost 70 and still wants sex daily....if that ain’t “immature” then I don’t know what is!!! Speak for yourself. Wish I had followed my gut feeling but was brought up with very strict controlling parents. However as with everything, things change and it’s not so much that you don’t find your partner attractive as you get older, it’s the fact that mating is no longer a top priority. We really don't. Hence, I cannot overestimate the value of laying a good relational foundation. You should want more out of this (or any) relationship. Yeah, the update changes everything. Your personal stuffs nice.

And you. Some relationships are there to teach you valuable life lessons. That's an eye-opener. I’m not sure who you’re replying to with this ignorant commmet, but if it’s me....i’m 51 and can say most mature people are not interested in sex once they hit middle age.

Cut the ties now and move on. If you come from a home where there was neglect, abuse, or a lot of emotional drama, you need to be very careful when you first meet someone and you feel really attracted. I’m 51 and sex is definitely not something that older people are interested in anymore. Talk about sensationalist pop psychology that's basically BS. For some reason people always give women this "watch attraction grow" advice, because we're supposed to not be as sexual as men, I guess. I like more lean/slim nerdy types with dark hair and pale skin (preferrably with glasses since glasses on a guy are hot). You honestly prefer that I pretend to be attracted to you? Come to understand that people of both genders change as they grow older; there's nothing turning back age. Ask any sex therapist and they will tell you that these days almost half of the couples coming it, it's the woman who's trying to convince the man to have sex. Nobody said that looking young was the goal. I feel the same way as you do, I have a very narrow definition of what I find attractive in men and hence have gone prolonged periods (single 10 yrs now) without dating. – Chemicals And Karma At Play, How To Know If A Guy Is Jealous Body Language, Signs He’s Into You Body Language – Number 6 Is Insightful, How To Have A Magnetic Personality – Good Attracts Good, No Emotional Connection With Husband – Relate On His Level, Reconnect Emotionally With Your Partner – Intimacy Is Imperative, Cutting Cords To Toxic Relationships – Say No To Toxic Energy Pollution, Feeling A Connection With Someone You’ve Just Met, Is Attraction Always Mutual? But she's loving and carrying and her family is nice to me. Sex is not required for health. It must be understood: If there is something that is bothering you—even if it is your gut alone—you should take some time and contemplate what you are about to do. No. But I'll tellya what...few things are as disgusting as young kids demonstrating such blatant age-ism. And some people who were very attracted at first find that their sexual interests change a lot over the years, and their once-attractive spouses are not interesting anymore. Your soul’s affinity is due to the similarities you two have. It is because you belong to the same soul group. You might want to reflect on that. And then many of them complain their spouse doesn't want to have sex with them. You deserve better than this. I really don't know but I think I read once that in about the first minute or so of meeting someone you make a decision about their physical attractiveness.

Being compassionate could also help you grow your social circle. I married first boyfriend at 22 with no attraction due to pressure from parents. I see in your last question that you mention that you're 21, which makes you way too young to be not having any fun. In addition, you will acquire an ally who will help you … If it's.

7 Hurts That Never Heal and 3 Ways to Cope, 5 Qualities to Look for in a Life Partner, 5 Ways to Deal with Passive Aggressive People, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Integrated Neurophotonics Takes Brain Imaging to a New Level. I bet that's why you're not attracted to him. Gifts, offers, 'kindness', dates, favours, money, etc. It’s not only inaccurate but foolish to claim that people marry folks they don’t find attractive. Whoa, girl, just read your update. Two months is no big loss compared to what he will suck you into if you let him. Whoa! All very common scenarios. saggy boobs, bald head, etc). People aren't getting it, including you, sex is for young people!!

Between what you posted and your additional comment, I have the strong sense that you know that you should end this relationship and mostly wanted a reality check.

There are many reasons why you feel magnetically attractive towards him. Most men in middle age don't need Viagra to have good sex. That social pressure "not to be shallow" did it for me too. I stayed with somebody for two years like this. Marriage is not a game. Marriage can get one a job, a better social position or lots of money. You're not speaking for everyone with your comments. I am aware of the issues and try not to repeat the cycle... but understand this is all bad news. Its like women and men aren't ; D. You should be offended because your husband obviously doesn’t value you as person if he did that. Nothing is more disgusting than the thought of anyone over age 40 having sex! It really doesn't work. The sort of question and answers that leave me feeling that my experience of being a human being is totally different from most. And men marry women, hoping the woman will not change. reading your updates it's no wonder you aren't attracted to this guy. Men are so delusional about sex and you’re ridiculous commenting is prove of it. Everything he's told you about his dating experience is filtered through his perspective. And of course, a few lucky older couples who are getting it on regularly more than most young people. Actually, I'm a handful of years younger than that, but no convincing required. Women tend to be very individual in their tastes. Sometimes we meet not so attractive people but the more we spend time with them, the more we want to sleep with them. You don't have to date this guy as a project. I need to do a business that requires a Registered Nurse but I don't have money to pay one. And the older we get the more pronounced they physical differences are. Can You Trust Married People to Keep a Secret? Why are you with this guy if you are not attracted to him? I don't know if you develop a feeling for their physical attraction over time though. If you knew any of this, your pity would be more for a lot of older women, for whom the advice, even right here in this forum in a recent blog, was that if you're picky, your only date will be on the couch with Ben & Jerry's. The author didn't even answer why people marry. – How Does It Change Things, Why Are We Drawn To Certain People? Also, no you do not have to date someone you're not attracted to, ever. ”; “Have you ever fallen in love with someone you weren’t attracted to at first? (Just kidding---but just couldn't help myself.). Like the way they talk or behave in front of you. You're supposed to pair off, mate and have kids when you're young and after that...you grow up and don't base your decisions on your genitals anymore. Wow, your updates are scary. Do what works for you. Dream on Alice....unless you have something to offer in return, I.e. Love progresses to familiarity, like how comfortable one is almost like a good friend, how one is able to handle situations well, able to communicate, convey love, care and concern. I was lying in bed with a girl who was basically complaining that I had never tried to kiss her at any point. If a person radiates the same vibrational energy as yours, you will feel attractive. When you are attracted towards someone, you are curious and feel many emotions: Even though you have never met them before, but you have this feeling. Why did you marry your spouse? He's smart, funny, we're comfortable with each other. I suppose you think exercise is only for young people too? You feel a pull towards him because of: In the spiritual realm, your soul makes agreements with other souls to perform different tasks in the upcoming life. Sorry if I'm reading this question totally wrong but -- What you seem to want just doesn't seem realistic to me. The root of the problem is the lack of trust which is evident in your follow-up. It can, and should, be so much better than that. Nothing. If my partner bought me a new dress or lingerie then I wouldn't be offended, so why should I mind if he offers to buy me a nicer set of boobs? Many attractive and in shape people are actually way older than otherwise assumed. This is massive red flag territory.

By making changes, you will add years to your life and look younger too. If one is willing to marry someone they don't find attractive, the real question is why they did it, not if they'll find a mate they do find attractive. I also think it's the legality of marriage that's a problem. What I will never understand is why people think it's just fine to seriously let themselves go. And so only men want to have sex? Still trying to convince yourself you’re still wanted by women at 70?! Do you tend to be physically attracted to guys who are mad, bad and dangerous to know? Do the right thing and say goodbye. To me that tells me they never understood how love changes as you age. Likewise, there are many men around that age who have low T, and are out of shape, and have ED and lost interest too.

Are you drawn to someone like a magnet? There are souls that you meet for the first time in any life, but your soul finds them attractive. If you're looking for ways to help love grow in your relationship, you're in luck. And I've found the exact opposite to be true -- that I'm just about as interested in sex and able near 70 as I was at 25. If it was really true that "most mature people" aren't interested in sex, then who the heck is buying all that Viagra???

Perhaps you're telling us more about you than anything else. And on the other hand, I don't think you should date him just because he's financially stable and has an interest in getting married. This guy is too needy and not confident enough. ENTITLE A MAN TO NOTHING. You don’t actually fall in love with someone you’re not attracted to. do try to be really honest with yourself in the future so you don't end up with such abusive men. Men are so delusional about sex and you’re ridiculous commenting is prove of it. I don't see any problem with fixing things if you can!

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